Black Cousin's Mafia

Chapter 2

When he awoke from his sleep, everything was the same. Nothing had changed. The smell of the alley had grown stronger with the drying cold of the rain, the dirt of everything everywhere, the bricks of the buildings, the waste of cluttered trash, the eye sore of discarded furniture. His sleep had not changed nothing for him, about him, only that he was still tired.

Breathing out, he breathed in the cold air. He liked it best when it was cold. He had liked the cold in the city. Heat in the city was horrible in the alley. His sleeping was always the worst, and he could never get enough because it was always too hot. Cold water was never available, something of value when the heat would come around. And Cousin would sweat on the cardboard with the constant turning in how he slept. When the heat got too unbearable, he would have to sleep on the alley street to feel the cool from the concrete, and cement.

Yet when it got cold, to just cover up in clothes, and then cover up with a blanket. The satisfying of his hunger in the cold, the dinner plates they sometimes gave out at the churches where the food would be good; bags of cookies, and flavored potato chips, or stacks of plated turkey. When they gave out hotdogs, and french fries, and no one would come, they would give you three, and four plates.

But they served pork, and they served pork a lot of times when it was cold, and he hated pork. The smell, and how it looked had made his stomach sick where he had stopped going as much as he use to. He had begun to think that the people at the church would get upset that he didn’t want to eat the pork. Causing some type of trouble, how he thought, with so many of the people at the church eating the pork including the people that worked there. He read something in one of the books at the church that said people were not supposed to eat pork. The book called it swine, probably why they still ate it because it didn't say pork. It hadn’t really made sense to him that the church served the animal in spite of what their book said. He had never said nothing, only to himself, that he would leave it alone.

Cousin stood against the back of the building, looking across the alley entrance to the convenient store across the street. The convenient store always stayed open, but was very unfriendly, which had scared him because they were always so nice to him. He had seen the owner beat someone with a bag of potato chips that had tried to attack him, and take something from the store. Cousin had just started staying in the alley when that happened. The owner had beat two of them bloody with a large bag of potato chips to outside to the side of the street before he, himself, had been beat bloody to the side of the street. The ambulance, and the police had come, and everything. But no one went to jail, and everyone, regardless of the blood, seemed to get up, and walk away.

So even when he would have a couple of dollars, and needed something, he would wait a couple of days, depending on what it was, before he went into the convenient store to buy it. He knew they probably saw him across the street sleeping in the alley all the time, and he knew, regardless of what day or what time it was, whoever was around, they would be angry, and hateful. But with Cousin, they always smiled, and with what little they had, they would give. Sometimes he would accept it, but most times he would say no.

The convenient store front lights cut on, the blinking lights saying open twenty four hours. Cousin thought that if he had a business, that’s what he would do, to have it open twenty four hours a day. Let the customers come in, and spend, and get want they needed at all times of the day.

He figured it was the fear of crime, and crime from the poverty of want that kept a lot of businesses from staying open past certain times of the night. The fast food on the corner toward downtown closed real early, and they had the best prices on food. They stayed crowded, but closed early. Whoever was running that business didn’t know what they were doing.

The want of money seeming so desperate in the city, the people that ran the food fast restaurant probably said it was just easier to close early, and forget about the worry. But money was money, and as a business, if someone wanted to take it from your business, regardless of what time, they would take it.

The hamburger restaurant stayed open until about 1 a.m. in the morning. The gas store around the corner behind the fast food never closed, and the dance club where they sold liquor closed early into the morning. Cousin would walk in that direction a lot of times, when he didn’t want to walk around until the morning came or when he felt isolated, and secluded from the alley. To look at the different types of people going in, and coming out to party. Who were these people dancing, and drinking? What did they look like? What were they doing?

And Cousin hated alcohol. How it made people uncontrollable, and it would be a lot of people on alcohol, and loud music. The lingering smell it gave off as urine, lingering around the places that he slept. He would never sleep, the smell soaking into his clothes, his hair, up into his nose. taking long periods of time to go away. For people to smell alcohol on him, and think him drunk might give them the thought to call the police. Especially since he wasn’t going anywhere, and with no place to hide, an easy victim of someone’s ignorance.

He thought of walking downtown, to see the high rise of the downtown buildings. The walk was a good distance, but not too far away where he would be tired. It had a couple of places where he could be out the way of the city if he needed or if he needed to use a bathroom away from eyes that stared. It had certain places where people would be out, certain places where there would be no trouble, and the park way was on the way to the downtown buildings.

The park way was decent. It was always open, and there were no restrictions on the park, only that they closed the bathrooms when it got dark.

Many times at night, he would see the large pool that covered the front of the park way to the street, the clean of its water, and the feel of ragged hair itching across his body. Further up into the park way, the dark of the trees, and the surroundings of the shadows of everything. He had never understood how they had made the entire park way dark, and cool from the heat, but hot from the cold.

The only problem with the park way was that it wasn’t a good place to sleep. If you happened to sit down or laid down, and closed your eyes, there would be so many people to come around you, talking to you, talking over you. Cousin had even had someone go into his pockets, thinking he was probably passed out from something.

The alley snatched his attention away from his thoughts, looking at its entrance to the sidewalk, there began the counting of the number of people that walked by on the sidewalk. He could tell how crowded the street would be at night by how many people walked by on the sidewalk.

The short fat man walked by the alley on the sidewalk. There were some people following him. They were all women. The group of women were talking loud, and walking in a disorder. The short fat man stopped at the alley entrance, letting the group of women pass him to the street. He was staring at the mattress, and the window light in the abandoned building.

“What’s wrong?” one of the women from the group said. The man still stood, looking at the mattress.

“I needed a mattress for my apartment, and here is a mattress right here,” not seeing the pile of old mattresses further up into the alley.

The woman started laughing, “That’s some trash. By a brand new mattress.”

The man grunted, sucking his teeth, “You don’t know nothing about mattresses. Do you know how much brand new mattresses cost ?” He walked up to the old mattress against the building, and the window.

Another woman began to speak above the chatter of the women, “I’m not sleeping with you on that thing.” All the women began to laugh.

“Why would you say that?” grabbing the middle of the mattress, pulling at the cloth, feeling the cushion of the inside. “This thing is still some good,” looking at the back. He could see the long tear down the middle, the exit of foamed cushion, and cloth coming out.

He thought to himself the mattress was no good, seeing the rest of the mattresses further down in the alley.

Cousin could begin to see the man make his way toward where he was standing. His heart began to beat fast. If he walked all the way to the mattresses, he would see him standing in the dark, maybe like someone who was trouble. And with him around those women, a cause for trouble might make sense.

Someone began to bang on the apartment window in the abandoned building, "Get away from my window!” the voice coming from within the apartment. The short fat man stumbled in his walk from the yell of the voice, stopping to argue.

“I ain’t nowhere near your window.”

Cousin could hear the beginning of a argument, pushing his back against the stand of the building. Back, and forth they went, the group of women joining in on the side of the man standing in the alley.

The man finally threw his hands up, walking into the crowd of women, continuing their walk down the sidewalk.

From the shadow of the building, Cousin watched them disappear into the city. He heard the window from the abandoned building open, and then close shut loud. Whoever was at the window had been upset.

He thought he needed to move the mattress further up into the alley until he decided where he was going to put it. He would hate to lose the mattress, having waited so long for it, the pile of bed mattresses in front of him looking at him.

Cracking the knuckles of his fingers, he breathed out heavy, walking from up under the shadow of the building. Grabbing the bed mattress closest to him, pulling the mattress behind the large trash can, Cousin pushed the trash can up against the mattress, up against the building.

Grabbing another mattress, pulling it across the alley street to where the concrete of the alley came up, Cousin put the mattress over the broken cement, pushing it up against the building. He looked at the mattress, where it was from the sidewalk. It could be seen, but it looked out the way, in between the darkness of the two alley buildings.

Walking over to his book bag, unzipping the sides, he pulled out his boots. The boots were thin, not heavy like for construction, but were thick at the bottom. The fronts, and tops were solid, not easy to tear.

Pulling small pieces of cardboard from the book bag, he placed flat the cardboard pieces inside the boots for cushion. If he had to stand somewhere for a long periods of time, without sitting or being able to move. If someone was watching him, and he might be tired, not wanting to walk out the way of where he was trying to get to. To just stop what he was doing, and stand, not move, and look at what was going on around him. It could take a couple of minutes or it would take a couple of hours, and he wouldn’t move, and whatever was watching him, that he knew, would go away or move to somewhere else where they would continue to watch. But by then, Cousin would just walk on into what he had been doing.

Sometimes it was a hassle, if he was tired or if it was cold. A lot of times it would give him freedom from the hustle of walking, to do nothing for a brief time in concentration. To gain control of his thoughts. And then the noise would be over, and whether someone was looking at him or not, he had never really seen it any way.

The boots fitting on his feet, Cousin put the worn sneakers into the book bag behind the water jar. He took the water jar out, taking a couple mouthfuls. From the heat of the clothes he had on, the cold water was cold, taking away strenuous thoughts of living in the night, of his walk into the city. He would be gone until the morning sunrise, wanting to be back around the alley while the sun was up.

Putting the water jar back into the book bag, the bag struggled to zip up, knotting at its cross sections. The metal panel moved easy to its side as he placed the book bag underneath the cardboard, moving some more of the biggest pieces of cardboard against the building. Looking around at where he was, he began to walk toward the alley entrance to the sidewalk, stopping at the edge of the building. No one was out on the sidewalk as the older model black car pulled up to the front of the convenient store. It was a car load of people, Cousin looking closer without staring.

There were two people in the front, and two people that sat in the back, as the driver got out with a thick black coat that came down just below the waist. Looking at the driver, he couldn’t see his face, the driver walking up on the side walk, not looking around, walking into the convenient store.

The car was clean, almost brand new looking, but not brand new. The two people that sat in the backseat looked around up the back of the street, away from the city, in the direction they had come from. They began to speak to the man in the front seat. A conversation seemed to pick up in the car.

Cousin looked at the bright of the car tires. Nothing fancy, and loud, sort of like it was with the car. How the car sat on the street, how the people sat in the car. Maybe something was wrong. Cousin walked a little closer to the sidewalk, walking pass the building’s edge onto the sidewalk.

The man in the front seat looked over to where Cousin was standing, pointing at him to the people in the back seat. Cousin caught himself staring into the front seat at the man, turning his head, looking up the street into the stare of the downtown buildings. He was far away from where he wanted to be.

He could feel the men in the car looking at him. Was it trouble? Both backseat car doors slammed as he saw the two men get out, walking across the street towards him. He looked in the opposite direction of the downtown, up the sidewalk. There were a couple people up the street, but too far away for them to help.

From the corners of his eyes, the two men looked as if they were coming directly at him, coming for him. He could see the black of the car behind them. Cousin couldn’t move in his stance, standing where he was, the two men walking up on the sidewalk pass Cousin to the restaurant that was closing a little further down.

As they approached the restaurant, one of the men yelled through the carryout window, “Just some french fries,” the voice from behind the window saying they were closed.

“I guess not,” the other man said, as both men began walking, finally sitting at the bus stop. From the across the street, from behind the car, the driver walked out with a bunch of small children, the children climbing into the back seat. The driver looked at the men at the bus stop, waving, getting into the car. From all the people on the street, Cousin was the only one invisible.

The black car started up in front of the store, pulling out onto the street toward downtown. Cousin could hear the men at the bus stop, what he thought, begin to talk about him, that he lived in the alley. He walked slowly up the sidewalk toward the entrance of the apartment in the abandoned building. He could see the dark white of the bed mattress, he could hear the conversation at the bus stop. He continued to walk, walking pass the apartment door, further up the sidewalk until he couldn’t hear no more as he begin to hear what he needed to do.

Now at the corner of the main street crossing, looking down the street that crossed both main streets of the alley, he didn’t want to cross the street through the traffic light, and he didn’t want to walk into the neighborhood that positioned directly away from the city. Deciding to stay the sidewalk around to the hamburger store, that would put him in the direction of downtown.

He could take the sidewalk to the street that went straight around to the park way, down into the downtown city buildings, and he would be schedule until the morning. The city bus passed him from behind as he walked further up the sidewalk of the crossing street. From where he walked, the view of the downtown buildings were blocked by apartment buildings that were brand new, and concrete or what looked like some type plaster. The buildings were clean, and from a distance, looked valuable, the brick buildings seeming more comfortable.

From across the street into the neighborhood, under the lining of trees, rows of houses could be seen going up into the curve of the street, followed from behind a crowd of more apartment buildings. A few blocks over, up the neighborhood, passed the apartment buildings, there was the large grocery store. A good place to go if he needed a couple of dollars or to be out the way for a couple of hours, and see people, and not think about the next day. And people would always be out.

The walk through the neighborhood of houses was always something he looked forward to, amongst the trees, and fresh air, he wouldn’t seem so far away. He was a part of the bigger picture of the city.

Not looking, someone bumped into Cousin from the direction he was walking in. The black man, younger than Cousin, had his hand out with what looked like a couple of dollars.

Cousin thought about the four dollars in his pocket, shaking his head, “No, I’m good.”

The younger black man replied, with his hand still holding the money out, “Are you sure? It’s not much, but I wanted to.”

Cousin shook his head again, looking down from the direction of the conversation. Just coming from the alley, he didn’t want the thoughts of a beggar following him down into the city.

The younger man smiled, walking pass, up around the corner, finally crossing the street. Cousin looked up into the building doors of the new apartment building as he passed. From the outside looking in, the hallway was straight and long, with what looked like elevators on both sides. And as he passed each new apartment building, they all had the same look; hallways, straight and long, with elevators on both sides.

Stopping at the new apartment building before the last building on the corner, Cousin looked up into the building's height. They were taller than the brick buildings, going up at least ten floors. How he thought, to live at the tops of one of these buildings was horrible during a storm. Being so far from the ground, the thought of the building falling had to be uncomfortable.

Cousin looked across the street at the fried chicken restaurant that never had no people in it. For some reason how they liked hamburgers, people just didn’t seem to like fried chicken where he stayed. Unlike the downtown fried chicken restaurant that stayed crowded, and stayed opened. He had only seen it closed one time, when the storm from the cold had shut down the entire city. Only the convenient store across from the alley had stayed opened so to him, it was as if nothing had really happened in the city. Even the fried hamburger restaurant had tried to open for a couple of hours. If it hadn’t been for him walking around, he would have never known about the city being closed. He had seen no cars driving on the street that day. All the way pass the downtown buildings into the smaller part of the city, not one car had he seen driving on the street . . . .

A large green mini van pulled up into the fried chicken drive thru. He began to see people working inside the store, moving around. Cousin looked back across the street into the direction of downtown, running across the street through the traffic lights into the parking lot of the fried chicken restaurant.

Cousin walked up to the front doors, walking in. Having the little bit of money in his pocket made him think that he could buy something if he wanted to, to not draw attention that he only wanted to use the bathroom. The woman at the cash register turned from Cousin’s entrance to the noise coming from the drive thru.

Cousin walked to the bathroom, pulling on the door. They had it locked, as he heard the sound of a toilet flushing. From inside the bathroom, the water splashed from the faucet, the door opened as one of the people that worked in the store walked passed him to behind the counter. The man that had come from the bathroom began to ramble in some type conversation with the woman at the cash register.

Cousin walked into the bathroom, closing the door. The bathroom was big, with a couple of toilet spaces. Walking over to the bathroom sink, he began to be afraid to look at his image in the mirror. He was wasting away. The ragged stain of the filth of hair on his face. His head was dark. He had grown many gray hairs on the sides of his face. His beard was beginning to knot up.

Pulling the hood from around his head, he cut the hot water on. He had to think; where was his wash rag or that he had even brought it? Feeling through the lining of his jacket, Cousin felt the rough texture of cloth, pulling out the dirty rag.

It soaked hot under the constant pour of water, wiping up under his arms first. He began to listen to what was going on outside the bathroom. He figured they would give him a little bit of time before deciding that he might be doing some type drugs in the bathroom.

Scrubbing his face next, the hot water soothed the itch of straggled hair, wiping around his neck toward the top of his back. The rag dug deep into his ears, soaking again in the hot water. The water squeezed in droplets into the sink. Cosuin wiped the rag rough through his hair again, scrubbing the thick of his scalp. His head breath, as he continued to scrubbed his face. Cousin fumbled the wet rag back into the inside of his coat, walking through the bathroom to one of the covered toilets.

He had to stand over top the urine on the floor to use the bathroom toilet. The fast food store being empty had been a blessing. Now he wouldn’t have to use the bathroom for the entire night or at least until he made his way downtown.

Someone walked into the bathroom. Cousin thought whether he had left a mess at the sink, flushing the toilet. He thought it was one of the employees as the plain clothes man walked pass Cousin up into a separate toilet. Wiping his hands on his pants, walking out the bathroom, Cousin walked into the dinner and counter area. Reading the prices from the food menu, ten pieces of fried chicken, eight dollars and ninety-nine cents. He needed tens dollars, and he would come in one time, and have a bucket of chicken. Something he would try to look forward to, walking out the fried chicken restaurant into the parking lot, walking up on the sidewalk to the corner of the street crossing.

The night traffic had picked up, cars everywhere; coming from downtown, going toward downtown. Cars going down into the neighborhood. Cars going across the downtown view.

The traffic light changed red, Cousin running across the street. “eight dollars and ninety-nine cents” he thought, remembering the man that had offered him a couple of dollars, walking up on the height of the new apartment building.

From where he stood on the corner, he could not see the back entrance to the alley, but could see the fronts of the two buildings that the alley separated. Behind that, he could see the dark of the downtown buildings. Cousin walked down the sidewalk.

The fried hamburger restaurant became more clear visible as he began to see the back entrance to the alley. Walking pass the first brick building entrance, pass the front doors into the alley entrance, in his walk, he looked down the alley. There was a car parked in the alley by the mattresses by the trash can. The lights were off, and that part of the alley had become dark. He didn’t know if it was the police or just someone wanting to be away from the busy of the city. Cousin looked to the ground, continuing in his walk toward downtown, picking up the pace of his walk.

By the time he had made it half way through his walk downtown, he was already into the early morning of the night. He could see a group of people at the soup restaurant next to the beginning of the entrance of the park way. The soup restaurant was the best thing going on in the city pass 12 a.m. They stayed opened twenty four hours, and they served nothing, but all kinds of handmade soup, and all kinds of handmade bread. They didn’t cost that much, but the food cost, and was not free. A lot times when people would see the word soup on the sign, they would think that it was some kind of poor shelter. But the soup restaurant was far from some type of poor shelter even though the poor stayed around where they were located. The building wasn’t brand new, but the restaurant was clean. And it always stayed crowded. For two dollars, you could get you a bowl of soup, bean or tomato, and a small half of loaf of hand cooked bread. The only thing of size within the restaurant was the large old style baking oven that cooked the bread. The stove that made the soup was about the size of a young child, so they made money, and was always busy.

But the restaurant was still a couple of blocks over, and a couple of miles away from downtown, where the majority of the spending of money would stay during the day. The neighborhood around the park way entrance wasn’t poor, but a lot of the people were in the financial struggle of the city.

Cousin crossed the street before the restaurant. Turning the corner of the sidewalk, he began to walk the stretch of the beginning of the park way on the sidewalk. The sound of music sounded from a couple of the late night dance clubs over the commotion of the people that stood on the sidewalk. Walking up fast on the dance clubs, he thought he would have to walk through the crowd, looking across the second entrance that led into the park way. Passing the small alley that sat next to the club, Cousin stepped into the crowd, moving pass the first group of people into some people working at the front door. Besides the two men at the door with the woman, everyone seemed to be over intoxicated, loose in their stand, and their talk.

The heavy shaped Black man bumped Cousin from behind as he turned into the face of someone with liquor on their breath. Cousin went to push him up into the crowd of people, hesitating, realizing that it might have been an accident.

“I’m sorry man,” showing Cousin the clear cup of dark liquid in his hand. “I should have stopped a long time ago.”

Cousin said nothing as the crowd towards the end of the entrance of the dance club moved around him, bumping him toward the street. Looking at the security at the front door entrance, he continued in his walk through the crowd. Not looking any longer at the people, he just didn’t want to run.

Breathing out, Cousin calmly walked through the last of the people to the beginning of where more people stood. The music continued to play loud as the lights from the club window began to give him a headache.

He couldn’t understand what was going on, the amusement in something that seemed so unnatural. The crazy lights, the alcohol, the liquor. To be crazy in your mind in the city, he concluded, that the people were crazy. But he was in an alley so how could he really be far from their craziness, though not the same.

The last of the lights blinding him, Cousin slowed to a stop, crossing the street middle way. The traffic lights had held the cars at both corners as he crossed the empty street, walking to the sidewalk that walked parallel to the park way. Not looking back, Cousin walked up into the entrance of the park way, and the scatter of people out in the cold of the city.

From the darkness of the park way, the scatter of people everywhere made the city feel alive, and vibrant, not knowing that a majority of the people were living in poverty, poor, and destitute with nowhere to go, and no place to stay.

Cousin would have stayed around the park way, if it would have had more areas of privacy. But people always stayed around the park way area, and there was really never any privacy.

Cousin walked pass a small group of young people grouped off in the field of the park way, pass the sidewalk of the center of the park way. They seemed to be engaged in some type of concentrated talk. Cousin noticed that they had some young children with them, which he thought was kind of weird, it being so late into the early morning, and that it was cold. He wondered did children still go to the public schools. He still saw the school buses occasionally, riding up and down the street, but they were always empty or looked like they were being used for some other purpose.

As Cousin walked pass the group across the walk way into the direction of downtown, the city buildings began to give rise up over the entire of everything around. The young people sounded as if they were arguing or in disagreement.

“So what, we if we don’t find a way to understand how to better deal with what they’re trying to do, then we are not going to understand what we are supposed to be doing, and then we’ll be out in the cold for real. And with no control over the money we do have, it will not work.”

Cousin could understand. Finances in this world were always a serious problem if you had no way out or no one to help you. With unemployment being so terrible, Cousin could not even remember when was the last time he had even thought about something as being employed or going to see someone about working.

“That’s not the point. We have a small group of people hear, and that’s all we need. Besides the care for the children, we don’t have to worry. What we need to do is understand that we can buy instead of just keep renting, and become owners. That’s the problem now, we are not owners, and we don’t seem to want to own because ownership and responsibility are the same thing.”

“What do you mean, we don’t want to own? They’re not talking about ownership or even giving us a chance to own. They don’t want to hear what we have to say, and that’s the real problem. We have a chance to gain control of what we do if they take the time to listen, and they don’t want to do that.”

The voices of the group began to fade, as Cousin listening, walked over the ramp of the cross walk pass the last row of trees that carried pass the bathrooms to the back side of the downtown area of the city. He could see the sign that bridged over the exit entrance of the park way, ‘Park Way Downtown’, across the bridge in capital letters.

As he walked up on the bench that he usually sat at before going into the city, he could see some people at the bench. He slowed in his walk, coming up closer to where they sat. It was a man and a woman. And from the distance he was at, it seemed that they were just sitting in the comforts of one another, and the city.

“If it’s a boy, you can name him, and if it’s a girl, I get to name him,” looking down at the woman’s stomach. There was nothing he could see that said she was pregnant, but she said that everything she had gotten from the store said that she was.

They had been together for a couple of years now, and he had long ago decided that he was going to ask her to marry him. Now it didn’t matter, they were together.

“I’m not going to let your crazy mind name my daughter. You’re going to give her a weird name that don’t make no sense to make your mother mad. You should name the boy, and I should name the girl.”

“Who told you that? It should be the opposite. I will not let the over indulgence of my mother affect my decision for the name of my daughter.” And he had already had a list of a couple of names that he liked, already having been thinking about what names he wanted to name his children even before finding out that she was pregnant.

“Do you want to get married?” she asked. It was cold outside as she pulled her coat tight around her waist, and shoulders, looking at the house they stayed in directly across from the park way.

The man replied, “We need to get married is what you should have said. Do I want to get married?” repeating her question.

“If we get married, that means we‘ll no longer be just boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“I think our relationship is a whole lot more than boyfriend and girlfriend. I have known you since before college, and here we are in a new city, with no one around that we’ve known for over two years, and it has been just me, and you and everyone else from long distances. I kind of understood these last couple of months that we were going to always be together. But now with you possibly pregnant, that’s the end of whatever we had planned on doing.”

She became frustrated. He hadn’t understood what she was saying, the man looking at her, thinking again about what she had asked.

“Oh, you’re talking a wedding with family, and the dress and everything.” He sat back in his look at Cousin crossing the walkway into the grass toward the small wall of the park way that separated the park way from the street sidewalk. The man watched the large dark figure sit down in the grass up under a tree that sat closest to the street lights.

“I don’t know. You know I don’t like a lot of people in my business. And you are so very important that I would hate to let people see me marry you because they would see you, and know who you were.”

“How much do you think it will cost?”

“I don’t know, probably a couple of thousand dollars. Then family and friends would come in, and then they would spend. Or we could go home, and get married, and that would cost. You know, just being in the city, and working, and having children is better than the ritual of marriage, I would think. Maybe we should talk to our parents, and let them understand what’s happening, and see what they say?”

Cousin sat down underneath the shadowed dark of the tree, the tree sitting directly behind the wall that separated from the street sidewalk. The tops of the branches of the tree hid away the glare of the street lights.

Stretching his legs from underneath how he sat, Cousin looked in the direction of the man and woman on the bench.

“How long would they be there?” he thought. It being so early in the morning, he could get some sleep on the bench before there would be people in the early hours of the morning. Where there would be the fast pace frantic of people going to work, and try to get a couple of dollars from the people that passed him. And it felt like it was going to be warmer this morning, and people were generally friendlier when it was warm in the cold, and not cold in the cold.

Cousin looked again as the younger couple begin to move on the bench as if they were going to leave, the man standing up to look across the park way of where everything was, sitting back down on the bench.

Cousin dropped his head down to the ground. The grass was old as the dirt came up, and surrounded where he sat. Across from the park way, a new crowd of people entered through the entrance. The young group of people that he had seen talking by the first row of short trees, walked from around the park way bathrooms to the exit entrance.

The group of people that had just walked into the park way walked passed the bench, and the man and woman. Both groups became silent, the passing of one another, in their own world of conversational contentment. Continuing into the park way, the group of young people became loud in their talk and laughter. The way they dressed told that they were using the park way walk way to the night clubs. They continued in their laughter as they looked in the direction of Cousin. From the distance where Cousin sat, and where they were walking, they couldn’t see him, but could see the entire of the park in line with the line of the downtown buildings.

The children, with the group of young people leaving the park way, began to run toward the bridged sign that stood over top the exit entrance, running pass the people that had entered the park way, and the couple that sat on the bench. The children stopped just behind the bench, looking at the couple, running to play under the sign. Looking up, the children seemed to be in the act of trying to read what the letters on the bridged sign were saying.

As the group of young people leaving walked up on the couple on the bench, both spoke to each other, some from the group waving, others from the group waving. Passing the bench, the young people crowded into the children under the sign, walking out the park.

Cousin sat back against the tree, looking up through the branches into the night air. The downtown area of the city was still covered with the dark rain clouds from early.

Pulling his hat from the inside of his coat lining, Cousin realized that he had forgotten his plastic bag. He pulled the hat down over his head, the mesh of his hair keeping the hat from fitting over, and down tight. He would have to find somewhere to look for a couple of bags that would fit in his pocket.

He didn’t like to look into the smaller park way trash cans because of the types of crowds of people, and the nastiness of what would be in the trash; a lot of spilled liquids, and uneaten food that all types of spilled sauces would stain and smear, and be everywhere. On his coat, on his hands, his shirt, and the stains would be there until he had a chance to clean his clothes. And he seldom had chances to clean his clothes. Sometimes when it would rain, and it wasn’t cold, he could get most of want he had cleaned, thinking of the larger trash cans that the city trucks used. He needed some new cardboard, a couple of pieces that he could carry with him back to the alley, where it wouldn’t be heavy, and he wouldn’t look too out of place, with it being so early, and with so many people going to work.

Cousin thought of the appliance store downtown that warehoused a lot of electronic appliances. They had a cardboard only trash container, where he had got the last of the cardboard that had gotten wet.

He didn’t feel like walking around that part of the downtown because it was so close to the homeless shelter, where they gave out clothes. Sometimes, if you were lucky, and waited long enough, they would let you stay overnight. They gave you a bed at the ending part of the day until the morning, to sleep, take a shower. If you had clothes or something with you, they would let you clean your clothes.

Cousin knew where they were, but he didn’t like it, and would only go there when he knew he would be able to stay because of the people that worked the shelter. They were unfriendly, and when they did help, it never seemed genuine. It was like the people who worked there would want bad for you, bad in the circumstance that someone might be in; that they wanted you to be hapless and helpless.

It had been almost a year since that last time he had tried to stay overnight. He had needed to clean some clothes that he didn’t get cleaned, and had wanted to take a bath to get rid of the dirt on his face and hair. But all he had ending up doing was eating, and going to sleep, the crowd of the people, and the hot of the weather making it not possible. He had been growing the hair that he had on his head and face now, since that time, pulling the hood from his head.

Cousin closed his eyes to the thought of the shelter. People would probably be out, up the street around the shelter, having nowhere to go. And with the city and downtown area being so big, the shelter was the only one located downtown where you could stay overnight.

He thought of the fast food restaurant that had the large size hamburgers. They would stay open late a couple days of the week, and to a lot of people that sleep on the street, that had become the new homeless shelter because they would let the people use the bathroom with no complaints. They would let you sleep behind the building in the walkway that went from the front part of a new building that was being constructed. From where they slept, from the downtown street and sidewalk, you couldn’t see the small gather of people. And by the middle of the morning, when the city began to get the busiest, the sleeping people would be up and gone.

Cousin opened his eyes to the sound of more people entering the park way. Their loud talking quieted to whispers as they passed the bench up into the walk way of the park way. Cousin could see that the couple at the bench were gone. Too tired to get up and walk over, he closed his eyes again.

He would wait a little longer before walking over to the bench, thinking that the time it was, he could lay out on the bench and go to sleep, and not have too much attention on him, it being so early in the morning.

He breathed in and out. The cold air filled the inside of his chest. He had realized that it was cold all around, the warmth from his clothes taking him away from thoughts that he was outside. Cousin dropped his head into his chest, as the last of what he heard disappeared . . . .

It was voices he heard from over an unseen part of the walk way that woke him from his sleep. It sounded like some people were walking up on where he was, pass the walk way over the grass of the park way.

The voices grew louder from behind the bathrooms as Cousin continued to look in through the sleep of his eyes. He could see what looked like someone by the entrance of the bathrooms.

Cousin continued to look as the voice he heard sounded again from behind the bathrooms, walking in the opposite direction of the entrance exit of the park way.

He didn’t know. Someone might be messing with him if they knew that he was sleeping in the park way. If they came from the night clubs after the clubs closed, they would walk through the park, and mess with people that they thought they could mess with. And with the consumption of alcohol and liquor, to know right from wrong would be nowhere around.

Cousin closed his eyes, but continued to listen. There was only silence, seeing the darkness of the morning light in his mind. Standing to his feet, he looked out onto the street next to the park way. The street was filled with parked cars everywhere, the crowd of cars making it difficult to drive down the small downtown street.

Finally deciding to move, Cousin walked over to the bench. His walk, slow and uneasy, as the tire from his sleep still covered over him. Grabbing the side of the bench, he sat down first, lying down across the bench. There was the feel of the hard of the bench pressing against his hat and hood. Turning his face away from the walk way to the back of the bench, Cousin blocked it out, the people that would see him, closing his eyes again.

They were coming from the night club. The smell of alcohol and cigarettes surrounded them amongst the air of the park way. People were still out, and from directly across the street from the night clubs, the crowds of people seemed not to be going anywhere.

Walking over the walk way that went up into the park way, both men began to walk through the park.

“And work is going to be horrible this morning. I don’t know why I would even go with you to a club so late, and I have to work.”

“You trying to say it wasn’t worth it? I know you liked her, and she was fine, too. The way she was talking to you, and saying your name. She might actually like you.”

Yeah, she had been fine, he thought. He had met her at some store across from where he was working, and had introduced himself to her. At first, she seemed like see liked him, until her girlfriend walked up, and ruined the conversation. But she said she was going to the club later on, and that he should meet her there. And she had been true to what she had said, standing around a whole bunch of girlfriends, talking and making noise in the club as he walked up. She had so many girlfriends with her that even the person who had came with him had got on with one of her friends.

“And did you see the shorty girl I was talking to? And see was touching me on the arm, and everything. I had to take my jacket off, and stay focus, the way she was touching me. I thought she was trying to trap me on some type of sex charge or something.” They both started to laugh.

“Did you get her number?”

“I tried, but she grabbed my hand, and over the music it just didn’t sound right. I gave her something with my number on it, and she said something about coming back to the club later on or something she was saying. I don’t know. You know I still mess with the woman that works downtown, so I didn’t really stress it. I’m thinking I’ll come to the club, and just she her there, and talk to her again. See if I really like her. Alcohol and blinking lights can distract you from the ugliness of a person.”

“Aw, you should have got her number. You might never see her again.”

“There you go. But you got the woman’s number that you were talking to?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, alright then. If I don’t see her in the club the next time, then I can use your lady friend to find her for me.” Both men smiled again.

“And you thought I didn’t know what I was doing. I know that’s what you thought. But now that I think about it, my lady friend from downtown, you remember her right?”

“Yeah, from the food place.”

“You thought that was a food place?”

“It is a food place, isn’t it?”

“No, it’s some type of center for old people. Food place,” laughing at what he had said.

“When I was up in there, I didn’t see no old people. Just a bunch of food and people eating.”

“Hold on a minute, you talking about the tall woman from the food place. No, that’s a friend of my sisters. I’m talking about the woman from the downtown center.”

Cousin could feel the rigid strength of the bench come up through his coat. Stretching his legs, the edges of metal positioned under the straight of his legs. Only his feet seemed relaxed on the straight of the metal bench. His arms, up under his weight against the bench, had lost its feeling, as his eyes remained closed, his mind gone from the world that he was in. It was just sleep for him now, and in spite of what it was, he was comfortable.

The two voices picked up in sound, walking pass the walk way bathroom, toward the exit of the park way. Walking around the bathrooms, they could see the exit entrance, and someone lying on the bench. Their voices began to quiet as they walked up pass Cousin sleeping on the bench.

Cousin could hear what sounded like people walking toward where he slept, not really moving in how he was laying. Through his sleep, he could hear footsteps stop, and then pick up again, walking directly toward him. He heard what sounded like a child’s voice.

“What’s up, you hear me?” as he heard footsteps walk toward the exit entrance and stop. Cousin heard the voice, and the footsteps, not wanting to move or get up.

One of the men who had walked up to the bench where Cousin slept, reached his hands into his pocket, pulling out what looked like a couple of single dollars, and a ten dollar bill. Holding the money in his hands, he called again to Cousin, pushing him in the back, not wanting the sleeping figure to just wake up.

Cousin could feel something pushing him in the back, slowly waking to what sounded like at voice. He hated when they would see him sleeping outside, that he really was in a struggle.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt your sleep, I don’t know. Here’s a couple of dollars that might help,” holding his hand out with the hand full of money. Cousin turned over slowly, still laid out, to look at the two men standing in the walk way. Cousin raised up a little, taking money from the man’s hand. He mumbled what sounded like a thank you through his tire.

“You ain’t got no money on you?” talking to the other man by the exit entrance.

The younger of the two men pulled out what looked like ten dollars, handing it to the older man that stood by Cousin. The man handed Cousin the money. This time Cousin said thank you, as both men looked at the large man lay back on the bench, turning back away from the way walk into the bench.

They began in the silence of their walk, to the exit of the park way to under the bridged sign.

“Park Way Downtown.”

“I got to go to work,” a sigh of depression and hopelessness.

“Yeah, I’ll see you later on,” as both men began their walk in opposite directions . . . . continue