Chapter 8
Cousin walked up to the front of the movie theater. The movie theater was an older looking section of a building that sat on the sidewalk of the street, like it had been around for a long time in the city. Everything about the movie theater was old and worn. The ticket counter was old and broken up. Once inside the theater, the floors were worn and broken apart. The theater seats sometimes were torn and ragged with no cushion. But the movies they showed, and the look of the movies were brand new, and that’s what made the movie theater something that stayed in business.
Cousin walked passed the posters of the movies playing to the front of the movie theater ticket counter. The movie cashier sat behind thin glass, a young man, counting money in his hand. He looked up as Cousin walked up to the window.
“How much are the movie tickets?” Cousin said over the window, and stacks of money the young man was counting.
“Movies are one dollar and fifty cents,” looking down at the money, continuing to count the money he held in his hand. Cousin walked back to the posters of movies that were showing at the theater.
Walking passed the first poster, Cousin stopped at a poster that showed a woman. She was standing around some people, but she was standing in the front of the people. Walking to the next poster, the poster had a group of men standing around a bunch of something Cousin couldn’t understand. He looked closer at what looked like the buildings downtown, but the buildings where in the print of the poster, and not visible. Walking to the last poster, some type wild animal could be seen crawling on the street.
Cousin walked back to the first poster he had passed. The poster was an advertise for the movie theater, all movies one dollar and fifty cents. At the front of the movie theater at the ticket counter, the young man was still counting money, looking up again at the large man that stood in front of window to look back down.
“Found something you wanted to see?”
Cousin watched the young man move the money back and forth in his hands, putting a stack of one dollar bills on the counter.
“What time does the movie with the monster on the poster start?”
“It’s about to start in a few minutes,” never looking up from the money in his hand.
“What is it about? Is it good?” The young man stopped counting money, looking up at Cousin to some people across the street that were walking down the sidewalk.
“That’s a good one. Kind of like science fiction. A lot of action. It got your man in it, that played in that movie about the people that were lost in the city.” Cousin didn’t know what movie he was talking about or what man he was talking about, but he handed the young man the dollar and fifty cent, grabbing his ticket.
“Theater screen number two,” he told Cousin, continuing in the counting of the money in his hand.
Walking into the movie theater, the theater was empty besides the people behind the food counter. There was popcorn and candy and soda and hotdogs and candy. Cousin walked down the hallway to the lighted theater sign that said two, walking into the theater to the surround of empty seats. Sitting toward the back of the theater, as he sat down, the movie lights cut on, the entire theater growing dark.
The first couple of motion screens were advertising movies, and items you could purchase from the food counter. One of the advertisings showed a movie that seemed pretty good, but it was a newer movie that had not come out yet. The screen showed a final advertise, the lights of the movie theater growing totally dark.
Cousin sat back in his seat, the chair reclining in the motion of how he was. The movie came on loud, growing louder before cutting into a screen where everything was dark. Cousin closed his eyes quietly . . . .
It was the noise from the movie screen that awakened him from his sleep, looking up at some words that went up and down on the screen. The dark of the theater lights gradually came on as Cousin looked around the theater. The theater was still empty, someone that worked at the theater walking into where he was, to the front of the theater, walking back out the theater doors.
Wiping his face from the sleep that had grown on him, he had slept through the entire movie, not knowing he was tired. He thought to sit through the movie again, but there was the thought of food that sat in the alley. He had wanted to be back at the alley before it got dark, allowing him a chance to eat, and decide about what he was going to do for the night.
He stood up from the theater seat, picking up his bags from the floor. Cousin walked out the theater into the hall of the theater, up to front. There was still the smell of food they served behind the food counter. The one woman behind the counter was pouring cheese, as some people wanting food, stood at the counter.
The theater was not crowded, but a couple of people had come in to see something. Through the movie theater, at the brightness of the outside, Cousin walked onto the sidewalk, bags in hand. He looked up and down the sidewalk. The crowd of cars had grown on the street, the majority of the cars driving in the direction away from downtown.
Cousin walked in the direction of the cars, away from downtown. At first, it was hard for him to catch a walking pace where he could just walk. The first couple of steps up the side walk were slow and uneasy. Passing store front after store front, he began to catch his stride with the bags he was carrying. Putting the carrying bag over his shoulder, Cousin grabbed the bag heavy in his hand.
Both bags had gotten heavy, his footsteps pacing with the passing cars and the sidewalk. The alley was around the corner down the street, and because of the time of day where he was, there would not be no people out until he got around to the new apartment buildings.
From the warmth of the movie theater to the cold of the outside, he could tell it was going to get cold during the night. Car horns began blowing at a car that was not moving in the street. Cousin looked as the car sputtered to start, driving in a stop and go motion, to drive slowly up street.
At first, Cousin and the car were moving at the same pace, the noise from the car horns sounding over the noise of the city. Walking to the corner of the street that went across the two main streets that separated the alley, the car started again through the traffic light, picking up speed, driving away from the city.
Looking in the direction of the alley, Cousin continued his walk down the sidewalk, the building that sat on the corner was another abandoned building of the city. He put his head down to walk, the pace of his walk now slow. He could feel the bag began to tear apart from where he held the bag in his hands. Grabbing the bag from under the bottom, he now carried the bag of food with both hands.
From overtop the bag from the church, Cousin could see what looked like a bag of apples and a bag of bread with the thick sides. Underneath the two bags, there was the disarrange of cans of food, and food items that he didn’t know. Cousin crossed the street from the corner, walking passed a group of people that sat out amongst a store front. They were in conversation, and seemed to pay no attention to what was going on around them.
“And the traffic, sometimes when you look at it, is horrible,” the man said as the large man with a heavy coat walked pass, carrying what looked like bags.
“But what if you can’t walk to work or that you don’t won’t to walk to work?”
“That would mean that you are making money or that you are comfortable in what you are doing or that you don’t care,” pointing at the cars in the street, going up and down the street, ”Most of these people do not care. And that’s pretty decent because that way, when you don’t care, the majority will not know what’s going to happen.”
A woman came out of the store with something in her hand, sitting down. She could see the back of Cousin walking up the street. He was almost to the last corner of the street before the alley. She bit down into something that looked like a small piece of cake.
The man talking, stopped what he was saying, looking at the woman, ”You didn’t get me one?”
The woman smiled, “This right here is four dollars. For four dollars, I can go get you one.” She bit down again into the cake, continuing. “Look at how small these things are, and they say that this is what four dollars looks like.” Taking a final bit, the cake was gone, but the woman had a look of satisfaction on her face.
“I thought you owned the store?” the second of the two men sitting across from the woman said.
Cousin could see the alley from where he stopped on the corner. The new apartment buildings were empty, the sidewalk empty in front of them. In the distance, the fried chicken store had a couple of cars in the drive through. Crossing the street, walking in the direction of the abandoned building with the apartment, he could see that the convenient store had a couple of cars in the front.
Cousin walked pass the apartment into the dark of the alley. The mattresses were still how he had put it. The mattresses at the large trash can were still on the alley street, the trash people not having come to take the mattresses. They would be in the alley, if not tomorrow, the day after. Sometimes they wouldn’t come, leaving both large trash cans filled over on to the alley street.
Cousin saw that the small metal trash can had been put back into the alley. The metal can sat against the building, close to the sidewalk, away from where Cousin had put his mattresses. Sitting back against the side of the building, Cousin stretched out his legs, putting the plastic bag down on his side, pulling the carrying bag from around his shoulders.
Cousin thought of what little clothes he had in the book bag with the canned food and plastic bags of food. Reaching over to the break in the metal panel, Cousin pulled the book bag from under its cover.
The bag seemed heavy, placing the bag on his lap. He could smell the odor of grease intermixed with the smell of food as he unzipped the bag. Cousin backed up further against the building, as the cars across the street at the convenient store pulled out into the street, driving in the direction of downtown.
The carrying bag that he had been given at the church was larger than the book bag that he had in the alley. Opening the carrying bag, Cousin looked at the clothes he had been given. They were old clothes, but they looked new to him, and made him feel like he could be someone new when he put them on.
Cousin moved the food around in the book bag, pulling out the clean clothes he had when it got colder from the bag, putting the clothes in the carrying bag with the clothes from the church. He would use the carrying bag for his clothes, and the book bag for the canned food. Closing the carrying bag, Cousin put the larger bag behind the metal panel, behind the larger pieces of cardboard, against the wall of the building.
Pulling the torn paper bag over to where he was sitting, the bag came completely apart, cans of food and the juices from the shelter falling onto the alley street. Cousin watched as two of the cans rolled into the middle of the alley. Standing up over the book bag, Cousin walked to the middle of the alley, grabbing the cans of food. Both cans read peas, as Cousin grabbed the small apples juices that had fallen to the side of the bed mattress.
Sitting back down, Cousin took the plastic bags of food out the book bag, filling the book bag with the cans of food, putting the bag of apples, and the bag of bread on top the cans. Closing the book bag, the bag was completely filled, putting the bag on the side of the bed mattress that was against the wall. He was ready to eat.
He had made it back to the alley before the sun had set, but the light had begun to grow dim as the dark came. Opening the first plastic bag of food from the shelter, there was the grease from the hamburgers over top the grease from the hotdogs. Cousin grabbed the hamburger, folding it together, biting down into the beef. Pulling out the second bag of plastic with the cakes and bread and hot dog bread, Cousin untied the knot that keep the bag closed, pulling out two slices of bread.
Looking for the eggs in the plastic bag, he grabbed a handful of the cheesed eggs, putting a hamburger onto the eggs, covering both with the slices of bread. Cousin pressed both sides of the bread with the meat and eggs in between, biting into the sandwich. He chewed slow, swallowing the bread with the hamburger, cheese and eggs.
Pulling one of the water gallons from behind the metal panel, Cousin took the plastic top from the water container. He began to drink the water gallon as he chewed the food in his mouth. The taste of the water, and hamburger, and eggs with cheese was good as he swallowed what he had in his mouth, taking another drink of water.
Cousin drank the water down to the middle top of the water container. Wiping the water from his mouth, he grabbed the hotdog bread and a hot dog from the plastic bags. He had forgot to bring some ketchup and mustard packages, putting some of the cheese eggs on top the hotdog.
Cousin looked at the grease from the hotdog. It looked exactly how he thought it would look, biting down into the taste of beef and chicken, tasting the eggs over top the taste of beef and chicken. Grabbing the water again, Cousin bit into another piece of hotdog and eggs with cheese. His swallowing of the food becoming more difficult, what he had in his mouth, drinking some more of the water from the water gallons.
There was the cold of the water, and the warm of his clothes, and the satisfying taste of the food that made the outside of the alley feel like a home. He was at home in the outside of the alley. Regardless of the people that walked up and down the sidewalk when he was sleeping. Regardless of the cars that drove by that saw him sleeping in the alley. He felt that he had made something in the alley for himself.
Cousin opened the second plastic bag again, this time pulling out a big slice of cake with frosting around the top and sides. It was a plain vanilla cake with some type of vanilla frosting. Biting into the dried frost of the cake, he bit a big piece from the piece he held in his hand.
The cake was dry, but sweet, the frosting moist and sweet. Taking another bite, Cousin swallowed the cake. Holding the hotdog bread in his hand, Cousin put the eggs on the bread first this time, putting the hotdog on top the eggs with cheese, grabbing another piece of cake. It was a small piece, eating the entire of the cake, swallowing the cake slowly. He put the hotdog on the cardboard beside him that had slid up under the bed mattress. Grabbing the water gallon again, he began to drink into the water.
By the time Cousin put the gallon water back to the alley street, the water was down to less than half the container. Looking at what he had drank of the water, he thought he would have to go to the grocery store or later into the tonight, he could take the large water jar with him to the gas station, getting some water from the bathroom. He hadn’t been there in a couple of days, and the gas attendant that worked the late nights would probably let him.
Cousin took another long drink of water, eating the hot dog he had placed on the cardboard, biting into the hot dog two or three times, swallowing the last of what he held in his hand.
He could feel his stomach full, looking at the plastic bags, and the large amounts of food in the bags.
The next two slices of bread from the bread bag crumbled in his hand on the sides, holding on to the middle parts of the bread with his hand. Grabbing two more pieces of hamburger, he put a handful of cheese eggs on top the hamburgers. Pressing the bread together with the meat and eggs in between, Cousin took a bite from the sandwich, taking another bite. Swallowing both bites, grabbing the water gallon, he drank the last of the water from the plastic container.
Cousin put the plastic container to the side of the bed mattress, closing the first plastic bag with meats and eggs, putting the bag on top the cardboard on the alley street. Placing the bag with the cakes and bread between his legs, he began to grab the smaller pieces of cake from the plastic, eating as he pulled the smaller pieces from the bag. One of the cakes was strawberry and vanilla. There was a piece of cake that was cherry. There was a cherry and vanilla. There was a plain cake with no taste that sat in his stomach.
Breathing out, he laid against the building. He could feel his hat in the inside pocket of his coat, putting the hat on his head, pulling it down over his head tight. He had changed his clothes, but everything was still the same.
Cousin tied the plastic bag with the last of the pieces of cake, grabbing the book bag from behind the metal panel, pushing the plastic bag on top the bag of apples and bread. Putting the bag back behind the cardboard against the building, he stood, moving onto the bed mattress, lying on his back.
Cousin began to stare into the tops of the building that sat in the alley. The sun had set, and the darkness had come, bringing the cold. It was cold, but it would get colder, the full of his stomach taking over much how he moved on the mattress. He wanted some more water, but the second of the water gallons was behind the metal panel against the building, looking at the empty plastic water container.
Turning to his side, he could feel the mesh of food in his stomach become uncomfortable, turning back on his back. He looked into the height of the alley building. He noticed that the building had not moved, breathing out again. In a couple of hours, he would be rested enough to walk to a bathroom.
He thought of the fried chicken restaurant. Later on in the night they would not be crowded. He had not been to the gas station in a good little while, and the gas attendant would let him use the bathroom. But that would be later on also.
He thought he could sleep through until the night came, the full of his stomach making it difficult for him to be quiet. He could taste everything he had eaten, like he was still eating. He thought that the last of what he had from the shelter would ruin if he didn’t eat it before the sun went up tomorrow. After walking to the gas station, he would walk to the park way until the morning, and then walk back to the alley before the morning afternoon, and finish what he had in the bags. He would try to hold on to the last of the gallon of water until he started eating again, depending on how he felt when he got up from the mattress.
At first Cousin didn’t know what it was. He heard the car drive up, and park across the street at the convenient store. He thought to look, closing his eyes instead. There was a strong accent that was complaining. The voice sounded worried.
The car started again, sounding like it was turning in the street toward the alley, pulling up over the side into the alley. The lights of the car were close, bright over the top of Cousin, and where he laid, backing up into the street, pulling in front of the apartment door in the abandoned building. The window in the alley from the apartment cut on, Cousin with his eyes still closed.
From down the back of the alley, the small two door car pulled along the building, facing in Cousin’s direction. Cousin’s stomach had begun to grow quiet in its ache, the large figure on the bed mattress on the alley street turning on his side. There was the warmth from his coat. The car door slammed further down the alley, the car pulling out into the alley, driving toward where Cousin lay.
Driving up pass the large figure on the bed mattress on the alley street, the car pulled to the front alley entrance, pulling out onto the street driving toward downtown. The car in front of the apartment in the abandoned building began to blow its horn, the driver getting out, slamming the car door.
He could hear, through the darkness of his eyes, the woman’s voice in frustration, as she began to bang on the door of the apartment.
There was a pause in the noise of her anger and frustration. She banged again on the door, the door finally opening. There was a conversation, but Cousin couldn’t understand what they were saying, then there was quiet. He heard the door close, and the car door slam, the woman pulling out into the street, driving into wherever she was going . . . .
Cousin woke a couple of hours later. His throat was dry, and there was a thirst for water. Getting up from the bed mattress, he pulled the water gallon from behind the metal panel. Turning the top off the plastic water gallon, Cousin wiped the sides of the top of the water, drinking the water. The water was cold and good, taking another large drink.
Cousin took one more drink, putting the top back on the large plastic container. He would have to get some more water from somewhere, thinking of the gas station again. The water from the bathroom was ok, but would sometimes have a toilet taste to it, like it was spoiled from the faucet.
Standing up from the bed mattress, Cousin stretched his arms and hands, his clothes tight around his sides and legs, the pairs of socks tight around his feet. Cousin moved from the bed mattress, walking to the front entrance of the alley to the sidewalk, looking up and down the street. Besides the parked cars that were across the street at the convenient store, the sidewalk, and street where empty. Inside the convenient store, someone behind the counter was talking to some people at the counter. It was not the owner, but someone that worked in the convenient store with the owner. It would be him, the owner, and a woman sometimes would be working in the store.
Cousin looked across the buildings that went into the direction of the downtown buildings. It was early into the night, and most of the daytime businesses were closed, but in the darkest parts of the city, there were people who would be working until the sun came up.
Walking back into the alley, he began to walk to the alley’s back entrance. The apartment buildings on both sides of the alley had a couple of lights that were on, scattered throughout the floors of the buildings. From where he was walking toward the back main street, the fried hamburger restaurant was still open, but looked empty. Some of the restaurant lights had dimmed in the front. Both trash cans in the alley had begun to overflow with trash from the apartment buildings. Before too long, the rats would come, and they would walk the sides of the buildings until they found something they could eat, regardless of what it was.
He would have to make sure that he put his food up somewhere or that he ate what he had in the plastic. If the rats came and smelled the food, they would tear through whatever the food was in, if it wasn’t something solid.
The second large trash can, closest to the apartment buildings, had both tops closed on the trash, pushed up against the building. A couple of people had put their trash bags on the side of the trash can, the spill of trash on the alley street.
Cousin stopped at the back entrance of the alley, looking up of the main street toward the downtown buildings. Two people walked from the entrance of the apartment building toward downtown. The woman looked at Cousin, walking into the direction of the man that she was walking with. Looking back at Cousin, both man and woman got into the car parked on the side of the main street. The car started, driving into the direction of the fried chicken restaurant.
There were a couple of people sitting down at the hamburger store, away from the front window. The fried chicken restaurant was empty, but people were moving about on the inside. Cousin walked from the alley entrance onto the side walk, walking into the direction of downtown. It had come suddenly, as he walked faster pass the apartment front doors. It had to have been the flavored cake and the cheese eggs, suddenly having to use the bathroom. Hesitating in his walk, thinking that it still might be too early to try the gas station bathroom, he continued in the direction of the gas station.
And he had just got new clothes from the church. He would hate to have to use the bathroom in the alley, and not really be able to get comfortable, where his clothes would be free from the smell of urine and defecation.
His stomach stretched out as Cousin walked to the corner of the street where the small electronic appliance store front was located. The sign for a price of something that the appliance store had going on was still on the sidewalk. He looked pass everything on the sidewalk, seeing the lights of the gas station, and the motion of cars pulling in and out for gas.
Crossing the street, moving from the sidewalk into the street as the traffic light changed, a couple of cars drove pass Cousin in the street, into the direction of the night club. Stepping up on the curve of the sidewalk, Cousin began look to see who was working the gas station window. If the inside of the store was still open, it would be more difficult to get the people to let him use the bathroom because he was not really coming as a customer, and they would be more concerned for the store and the customers. But when they closed the store, and used the window, they would use the bathrooms outside, where you had to unlock the doors with some kind of metal clasp they used to lock the bathrooms on the outside.
Coming closer to the gas station, he could see the cashier walk to the front doors, directing someone who was coming into the store to come to the window, locking the front doors. Cousin waited for a few minutes, allowing the cashier to attend to what he was doing before he went to the window. He kind of knew the cashier at the window. He would let him use the bathroom all the time, and had never had a problem with an ugly look or some type of slander or put down. It was like he knew that Cousin was in a struggle, that everyone one in the city was in a struggle.
Standing by a street light at first, Cousin walked around to the side of the gas station toward the dance club. There were a couple of people outside the dance club, as Cousin began to move slowly back and forth with his feet in agitation and impatient.
The gas station window had become crowded with people. Finally walking into the line of people, Cousin pulled a couple of dollars from his pocket in case he had to buy something. He thought quickly what he could purchase. They had gallons of water that were overpriced, and the bread wasn’t good. He could get something like a small bag of candy or the jelly filled doughnuts. The doughnuts were three for a dollar, and didn’t taste too awful, but they stayed in your stomach for a long time.
“I had fifth teen dollars on pump ten,” the cashier taking the money from the man at the window that was in front of Cousin.
“Pump ten says twenty five dollars,” the cashier looking at the man that had given him the money.
“Twenty five dollars. No sir, I had fifth teen dollars’ worth of gas.” Cousin could feel his stomach knot and twist, and fill with a nauseating gas.
The cashier turned the computer into the direction of the man, showing him the price of how much he had purchased. The man walked from the window back to where he had pumped the gas, looking at the price on the gas pump. Walking up to the window, Cousin looked at the doughnuts that sat in some type of glass heater, to begin talking to the cashier.
“Uh, I needed to use the bathroom.” It hadn’t sounded right because he was begging, but the cashier either didn’t care or inattentive of something that came with the gas station business. Handing Cousin the metal that went into the bathroom door, the man from the gas pumps walked back up to the window.
The cashier repeated, “Twenty five dollars.”
“How much did I give you?”
“You gave me fifth teen dollars,” holding up the money to him.
Cousin walked around to the bathroom doors, putting the metal piece into the door. Closing the door behind him, Cousin cut the lights on, taking off his hat . . . .
From outside the bathroom doors, the water from the sink could be heard. Wiping his face with his hands, putting his hat back on, Cousin walked from the bathroom. Standing in front of the bathroom doors, the gas station was empty, two cars pulling in to the where they pumped the gas.
Cousin walked around the corner of the gas station building, walking to the window. He handed the cashier the metal that opened the bathroom doors, saying thank you. The cashier nodded his head, looking pass Cousin at the people walking to the window.
Walking from the gas station into the direction of the park way, Cousin breathed out at the ease of how his stomach felt. He wouldn’t have to worry about where to use the bathroom until early tomorrow. And headed into the direction of downtown, there would be the shelter and the park way bathrooms.
He thought about going by the shelter to see if he could get a bed for the night, and what food they would give in the morning. Besides that, with what the man had said to him at the church, he needed to take a shower, walking up on the traffic lights that went in one direction, across the city. The street was always difficult to cross because unless you were in the car, you couldn’t see when the cars were at a stop or when they were coming up the street to stop.
Cousin waited as two cars passed in the opposite direction, back up into the direction of the alley. Now in the middle of the street, looking over the small buildings that separated the upper part of where the alley was to the middle of the city, Cousin could see the beginning of where the park way formed. He walked from the street onto the sidewalk, walking up the sidewalk. The dance clubs down the street where beginning to play music as people could be seen walking up to the dance clubs.
Cousin crossed the sidewalk, walking around to the front entrance of the park way. The cold had come, and the dark had come. The downtown buildings towered over where Cousin walked, growing smaller as he walked away from downtown into the way the park way was situated.
Looking at the sign over top the park way entrance, ‘Park Way Entrance’, he thought again of the ticket that had been given to him for the concert. It would be a lot of people there, looking at the empty park way bench. Walking through the front entrance of the park way, Cousin walked over, sitting on the bench.
Sitting down, he could feel the inside of how he felt, calm and empty. His stomach no longer pained, but there were aches, and he was sore. He looked in the direction of the bathrooms, in the direction of the night clubs. Stretching his legs out on the bench, Cousin turned away from the walk way of the park way entrance in the stare of the bench. Closing his eyes, he went to sleep . . . .
Cousin waved to the people he went to school with. Walking up on the corner of the curve with his back turned, he bumped into a man on the corner.
Turning around into the man standing on the corner, “As salaam alaikum, young Brother,” the man smiling at Cousin. Cousin stood straight, staring at the man in dress clothes with a book in his hand.
Cousin began to stutter,” I’m, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.”
“Don’t worry about it, Black man,” holding out a book to him. “Would you like one of these books?” Cousin looked at the dark colored book, taking it in his hands.
The man on the corner continued in his smile as Cousin said thank you, walking up the sidewalk, home.
Looking at the cover of the book, Cousin opened to the first page.
“In the beginning, Allah created the universe. And the universe was without form and void and darkness was across the face of the universe.” Cousin closed the book the man from the corner had given him, pulling the book bag with books from his middle school tighter across his shoulder. Walking pass the metal wired trash can that sat on the sidewalk, Cousin threw the book in the trash.