Chapter 7
Cousin walked onto the sidewalk, standing in the front entrance of the alley. The owner across the street, in the convenient store, came to the store’s front doors, walking back around the counter. From the across the street, Cousin could see him messing with something he held in his hands.
Cousin walked toward the downtown buildings. The sidewalk was empty all the way up to the corner. The traffic lights changed colors, as a crowd of cars drove in the direction of the dance club. His headache had went away. To go around a bunch of screaming people is not what he wanted to do, the taste of the last of the cakes in his mouth.
Regardless of the cakes being old, they had been good, not making sick. Now on the corner of the sidewalk, down from the alley, he looked in the opposite direction of the night club toward the back main street. He could kind of hear music playing, and people talking from behind him. In the direction of the night club, there were only a couple of cars out. Walking away from the night club, up the sidewalk in the line of the downtown buildings, Cousin walked in the direction of the industrial neighborhood. He didn’t want to be around a lot of people, and had decided that he needed to change his clothes.
Concerned about the food in the plastic bags, he was hoping that the food wouldn’t spoil, that he would eat it how it was, and he would be ok. The fried chicken restaurant didn’t close until later in the night so he would have the whole day to find some clothes, and come back and eat.
The store fronts that sat in the buildings on the street that cut across the two main streets toward the downtown where majority empty. The sidewalk looked desolate as Cousin picked up his walking pace, passing the gas station across the street. There were a couple of people at the gas station around the bathroom, and the corner that sat on the main street.
Walking closer to the empty stores in the cold of the darkness, the various store front windows had phone numbers on signs that said the stores could be rented. The buildings were not as high as the new apartment buildings at the other end of the main streets or as tall as the apartment buildings that secluded the alley, but the buildings were big.
Cousin thought that each store front probably went up two or three floors on top the store, but the apartments in the building were abandoned, and could not be lived in. The last of the buildings, on this side of the sidewalk that could be used, were store fronts, and no one was using them.
The one electronic store, where you could get something fixed if you had the money, sat toward the end of the sidewalk, toward the main street that went across the back of the alley entrance. It always looked like it was going to close, but never did, as Cousin passed probably the only business on the side of the sidewalk that made some type of money.
They closed early and opened late, but people would come, and spend what little money they had for the food that they cooked. The sign with the number said that they would deliver to where ever you were. They probably did a lot of money in the big neighborhood up from the alley. Cousin had brought a small thing of rice one time, a long time ago, when they had it for less than two dollars. And it had tasted good, but it had been a luxury that he had learned to avoid. Passing the store, the store next to it was empty, and for rent. Coming closer to the corner of the main street, the electronic store had some type of stand that sat in front. It had a price for something on it, but Cousin couldn’t understand what the price was for. Stopping at the corner of the main street, he let the cars pass by, going up the street away from downtown. In the middle of the street, Cousin crossed through the traffic lights, stepping up on to the sidewalk that walked along to the two lane street. By the time he would come from the two lane highway, the sun would be coming up, and the shelter would be opening their doors. They might let him come in, and get some clothes. He had forgotten how they gave away their clothes, it being a long time since he figured he needed something new to wear.
By the movie theater, there was a used clothing store that had pretty much whatever you wanted, thinking that he could spend five or six dollars for something to wear. But five or six dollars was a lot of money to spend for something that if he looked, someone would give to him. There was the church downtown, and there was the church that was in the park way area toward the entrance to the city. But both churches really didn’t open until the afternoon, and the walk was a longer walk to just be walking there. Looking at his coat again, but he needed some new clothes.
Cousin turned on to the two lane street. The street was dark, stumbling over the tear of sidewalk and cement. He could see the dark of dirt and dust from some type walking path that walked along the street. Further down the street, there was the beginning of the industrial neighborhood, and behind the numerous streets of houses, there was the industrial businesses.
Cousin stumbled again in his walk, concentrating on the darkness of where he was. He could feel the sidewalk form under his foot. He seemed further away from the downtown buildings, towards the back of the last of the large buildings. He had thought the walk up the two lane street would more relaxing, and less strenuous with the absence of the cars on the street.
Even though he never really used the two lane street to go downtown because of the long walk on the torn sidewalk, he would walk it sometimes in the late night to take away the taste of the city. It would help him relax if he was stressed or angry, and it lacked the crowds of people in their chatter, if he was agitated. And it was one of the only place in the city that he knew where you could see into the night, and not see the city.
Cousin stumbled across the last piece of grass, looking at the abandoned building in the neighborhood of houses. With everything closed about the building, the outside looked like a gas station, walking up on the building's emptiness. Walking to the front of the store windows, Cousin looked at the sign in the window that gave the directions to the store’s new location. He knew the street, but he didn’t know where on the street it was located.
The street the address gave was a long street that started by the eatery, where he had been given the bag of cakes, passing the park way, up into the direction of the church by the entrance of the city.
Cousin looked at the numbers that gave the stores location, saying the numbers a couple times, thinking to walk to see how the new store would look compared to the one he was at. Backing up from the abandoned store, he walked around to the back of the building. The back of the building was empty, cluttered only with darkness, and the trash of the building that wouldn’t fit into the large trash can. There was a small walk way where you could walk around the store to the front doors. Sitting down, with his back against the wall of the store, Cousin looked at the large amounts of trash in the trash can, and around the trash can. To move from this location to the location downtown, depending on where it was located, the store had to have made some money. He could see the large number of customers that would come across the street from the houses in the neighborhood.
From where he sat, houses went back up into the street, up into the darkness. Cousin pulled out his hat from the inside of his coat, pulling the hat down to his face. Lying on his side, turning away from the trash can and the city, he closed his eyes to the darkness of the houses . . . .
When Cousin woke from his sleep, the sun was coming up. He could hear the noise from the street, and heard some people’s voices, what sounded like from the houses that sat directly across the street. Even though the restaurant was located in the middle of the two lane street, it was also along the traffic light that entered into the neighborhood. Someone could be heard complaining that they couldn’t move their car because of the how the car was positioned with the traffic light and the traffic of cars.
Through the haze of his sleep and the morning light from the sun, the beginning of two people arguing could be heard. It sounded like a man and a woman.
Cousin stood to his feet, walking from the walk way of the building, into the open of the restaurant, and the direction of the traffic of cars. He had lost the feeling in both his hands, moving his arms in motion with his walk. He could feel his thoughts slow, walking into the direction of the arguing voices.
Startled by an angry yell, Cousin looked up at a man and woman arguing. They were in the drive way of their home. One car was in front of the other car, and their drive way came out onto the two lane street at the traffic light. Because the light continuously changed, the driver in the first car, in front of the car that sat closest to the house, could not move onto the street as quickly as the driver of the second car wanted.
As Cousin looked at the man and woman arguing, he walked up on the sidewalk. The back side of the downtown buildings were still, the sun still low in its rise. Walking into the direction of the shelter, and the downtown buildings, the fade of the arguing grew louder. To be arguing earlier in the morning was the way of the city, and Cousin figured that they lived together.
Now closer to downtown, with the noise of the arguing in his mind, and that he had pushed someone from earlier, he would not walk around, but go to where he had to go to. To see a crowd of people would probably make him sick to his stomach or bring on his headache.
Walking a little further up the street, Cousin pulled the hat from his face, putting the hat back into the inside lining of his coat. And he had had the coat for a long time now, and it had lasted, and served its purpose.
Walking onto the first of the streets that were consider a part of the downtown area, Cousin would be at the street that the church sat on before he came up on the shelter. The position of the sun said that it was still earlier, not knowing the church to have specific hours for the morning. He would walk by to see if someone would be there. Further into the middle of the downtown, he could see the beginning of people walking back and forth across the street, the clutter of cars in the morning. He felt it in his stomach, the tension in his shoulders. Only the cold of the morning kept him in his calm, patient.
Cousin walked from the main street that led into the center of downtown, walking around on the street that gave way to the canned food store. The church was on a quiet downtown street where the city had had a library, but the library had moved from the location because of how far it was away from some public school that they had put downtown.
The church was an old solid structure that looked like something made from pure concrete, and even though the church took up a good deal of two streets, only a small section of the church was used, with only a couple of people, that he had seen, working.
They gave food sometimes, and they gave clothes all the time. You had to go a couple of times to understanding when they would be serving food. They cooked the food themselves, but they served a lot of pork with what they cooked, and Cousin didn’t understand because the book they believed in said you weren’t suppose to eat pork. So he had stopped coming to the church for food, and it was only for clothes that Cousin had last come.
Moving closer to what he thought, he could see the church down the street. It sat out from the sidewalk and the smaller buildings on the street, solid concrete all the way through, from the sidewalk to the top of the statutes that were carved into the top of the building.
He could see a couple of cars parked in the front of the church building. Besides the noise that came from further down the street, the church and the surroundings of the church were quiet. Cousin walked the length of the giant church steps, step by step. The steps that led up to the doors that separated the outside from the inside were the length of a couple of yards of the sidewalk pattern. At the top of the steps, carved into the building, were the words ‘established in the year 1815’. Cousin thought that to be a long time ago, but those people were all gone now.
He knocked on the doors. The sound of the knock could barely be heard over the thick size of the doors. Cousin knocked again. From where he stood, the church steps were not blocked by the downtown buildings from the sun light, the shadows of the buildings stopping across the street, in the middle of the street.
He wanted to knock again, but hesitated. He didn’t want to be impatient. Knocking one more time, Cousin backed up from the doors of the church. Looking up to the top of the church, he could see what looked like some type of naked woman. He couldn’t really tell if she was naked or that he couldn’t see the carving of her clothes.
The doors of the church began to make noise from the inside, turning his attention away from the statue. The doors to the church opened, as a man came out from behind the doors. He had a smile on his face. Everything about him looked brand new. Cousin began to stutter in his thoughts.
In the hesitation of the silence, the man began to talk. “Good morning. Good morning. Can I help you with something? I don’t believe we will be serving food until sometime this afternoon.”
Cousin’s voice was still void of some type intelligence, regaining his focus, “Uh, How are you doing? I use to come to the church for clothes at one time, and I believe I had gotten the clothes I have on now from this church. But these clothes were dirty, and had a smell to them, and with no where to clean the clothes, I needed some clothes that I could wear around people, and not be a public distraction. I was thinking that the church had some old clothes they could give me. Something that was clean, but would keep me warm. I needed a heavy coat also.
As Cousin was talking, he was listening to what he was saying. And in listening, he had said a lot, and it sounded like he had asked for a lot; a beggar at the doors of a church.
“I wouldn’t say I’m begging. I just don’t have the money for clothes. I don’t necessarily have money,” forcing himself to be quiet, the anxiety of a yes or no answer presenting itself. It would make him impatient sometimes, having gradually grown accustomed to the replies of no.
The man at the door listened to Cousin, looking at the large man that stood at the door steps of the church.
“What is your name black man?”
“Cousin’s voice pronounced deeper with the question, “My name is Cousin.”
“Cousin,” repeating the name, “I like that. Cousin. Cousin, I’m the preacher at the church. We have a clothing shelter where we give clothes away, especially when it gets colder, but they are not here right now. They will not be here until sometime in the afternoon, before they start serving the food.”
Cousin breathed out, turning his head into the cold heat of the sunlight. He could come back, he thought, but from then until now was a little bit of time he would have to wait, and he didn’t want to be downtown waiting.
The man looked again at Cousin, the cold in his face, the tire in his face.
“Cousin, where do you stay?” Cousin hadn’t really heard him, thinking about where he would wait until they started serving the food.
Turning again into the face of the man, there was a pause in what he wanted to say. Finally just shaking his head, he began to talk.
“I stay outside. In the city sometimes. Around in the neighborhoods around the city. Wherever I can find where I can get some sleep without being harassed or disturbed. The city can be real loud at all times.”
Cousin could see the man began to think. Looking into the direction of the buildings downtown, the man opened the doors to the church, inviting Cousin to come in.
“Cousin, you know what. I don’t know how they are working the clothing shelter part of the church, but I do know how to give someone who needs clothes some clothes. I don’t believe the doors to be locked where they keep the clothes. Just follow me, and we can see what the church can do for you.”
They walked into the smaller part of the church, the part that Cousin had seen before. But turning into a hallway, the space of the church was huge. The ceiling went from a small crowded room over to something that went straight up into the air, seeming as high as the sky. Walking into the kitchen of the church, they walked through a carpeted hallway that was a bridge in the building to a section of the church where people could sit down.
Walking pass the rows of seats, the man led Cousin into a large open room, something that seemed like a lot of people could come, and dance around in.
Towards the side of the wall, Cousin could see clothes stacked on clothing racks, and piles of clothes on the floor.
“Here we go,” the man said, walking Cousin over to where the clothes were. As Cousin came closer to the clothes, he could see they had the clothes arranged around signs that detailed the sizes, and distinguished between men and women.
The man stopped in front of the sign that said ‘men’, pointing to the large pile, and stacks of clothes against the wall.
“You know, Cousin, I have to finish up on something I was working on so what I’m going to do is leave you in here for a little while. You need to get what you need, and don’t worry about it. Make sure you get what you need. And you can change in the bathroom if you want,” pointing to some doors in the large hall. “And I’ll be right back, and we can continue from there.”
Cousin smiled a little, thanking the man, shaking his hand.
“Cousin. I like that,” repeating his name. Walking back through the entrance of the hall, the man was gone.
Cousin stood in the large hall, amongst the amass of clothes. He could see the heavy coats. He could see the pants. He could see the shirts.
Taking off his coat, Cousin put the torn coat in an empty chair, the heavy of the coat and the filth of the shirts worn were a ragged apart of his mental oppression. He began to look at the stacks of coats and jackets that were folded in a pile on a rack. The coats and jackets were older, not brand new, but they were clean, and had no smell. Picking up a coat that was dark in color, the coat was heavy, looking at the inside cloth of the coat. The lining of the coat was torn on the side a little, but the material in the inside of the lining was heavy and warm, and had not come out.
Cousin put the heavy coat on, the bottom of the coat stopping to the middle of his legs. Not too long and not too short, he thought. When he laid down, he didn’t want the bottom of the coat to tangle around his legs, making his movements in his sleep uncomfortable.
Stretching his arms full length, moving his arms back and forth, the coat fitted perfect, Cousin keeping it on. He looked at the side pockets. The two large pockets were on each of the sides of the coat, with two large pockets on the inside lining. The coat was perfect, he thought again, and being bigger than he was, would make him look smaller when he was in the city.
Now he needed a light jacket to go up under the heavy coat, moving through the piles of coats. The jacket fell to the floor of the church from the pile of heavy coats. Cousin picked up the jacket, holding it in front of him. The jacket was also dark colored, the sleeves of the jacket having elastic cloth around them were they would grab around the wrist. The same material was around the waist, stretching around the waist. He could wear the jacket like a heavy shirt.
Taking off the coat that he had on, Cousin put the heavy coat in the chair with his old coat, putting the jacket on. The jacket loosened around his shoulders and waist, the side pockets of the jacket tightening around the sides. Cousin put his hands in the pockets. Zipping the jacket, he put his hands back into the side pockets, grabbing the heavy coat from the chair, putting it on over top the jacket he now had on. The warmth from the warm of the church increased as he felt like he would start to sweat.
Thinking, he began to smile. He had found what he had wanted. He concluded that the rest of the clothes would be simple because it was nothing in particular; couple of pairs of pants, and a couple of pairs of shirts that he could just wear out the church. And he needed to find a belt from the pile, and he would be ok.
Cousin looked at the section of sizes of pants that were folded in the piles. Seeing what said his size, he looked through the large pile of pants. Cousin pulled the first two pair of dark pants from the pile. The pants were thick, the number of the size of the pants on the inside lining.
Pulling both pair of pants out from the pile, the tangle of belts fell from under the stacks of pants across the floor. Grabbing through the belts, Cousin saw where they had clothes that you slept in, that were designed to keep you warm. Putting the first belt around his waist, the belt was too small. Grabbing the next belt, putting it around his waist, the belt was too small. And Cousin did this for the first four or five belts before he found a belt that fit, throwing the belt across his shoulder, across the pants over his shoulder.
Walking to the clothes that were for sleeping, again he looked for his size. Some sleeping clothes had the top that went with the bottom. Some just had the top parts, and some just had the bottom parts to them. Cousin grabbed a top and bottom that said they were a double large. Walking back to the chair with his old coat, Cousin put the pile of clothes that he wanted into the chair. He needed two or three shirts that he could wear at one time, looking across the clothes for a section that might have socks, seeing the socks in a pile mixed in with shorts and shirts.
Walking to the stacks of folded dress shirts, Cousin looked through the shirts that were folded from top to bottom, under a sign that said double large across the wall. Through the pile of dark colors, he picked up two shirts that said double large on the inside of the neck.
Grabbing all of what he had gotten from the piles of clothes, he grabbed his old coat to walk to the bathroom, passing a pile of socks. Cousin grabbed a couple pairs of socks from the pile of shirts and shorts to continue in the direction of the bathroom.
Through the entrance doors of the bathroom, the bathroom doors where about his size, opening into a bathroom that was huge. The ceiling of the bathroom went up in its height, giving way headroom to walk throughout the bathroom. The toilets of the bathroom went into the back of the bathroom where he could see two showers.
Walking into one of the toilets, away from the entrance of the door, Cousin closed the door behind him. He put the toilet seat down, to sit down for a moment in exasperation from his struggle in the clothing selection, and it had been a mental struggle. He put his old coat on the bathroom floor in front of him, quickly taking his shirts and shoes off, putting the socks he had on, on the bathroom floor. The ache and pain of motion, unbuttoning each button, the pulling of the socks from his feet, Cousin pulled the buttoned shirts from around his chest, putting the shirts on the floor. He pulled off the pairs of thin shirts he had on, putting them on the floor.
Grabbing the thick clothed sleeping top first, Cousin put the sleeping shirt on. The shirt covered to around his waist, covering the entire of his arms, tightening around the wrist. Cousin next buttoned the two pairs of thick dress shirts, buttoning both shirts up to around the chest and neck.
He could feel the comfort of the clothes, that everything would work out for him. Grabbing the buttons from the pants he had on, Cousin took off everything from around his waist, pulling the pants from his legs; two pair of pants and some sweat pants, throwing the old clothes to the floor.
Looking at the pants over top the coat and jacket he had gotten from the pile of clothes, Cousin grabbed the sleeping pants, pulling the pants over his waist. Grabbing the two pairs of dark colored pants, the small jacket fell to the bathroom floor. The heavy coat followed, falling to the floor. Picking the coats from the floor, Cousin put on the two pairs of the pants. Both pairs of pants fitted loose over the tight feel of the sleeping pants.
He sat again on the toilet, grabbing the pairs of socks from the pockets of the heavy coat, reaching out with his legs. The socks were small, tight fitting, Cousin loosening the socks from around his feet. Still sitting on the toilet, he pulled his boots around his feet, tying the laces of the shoes. Looking for the belt, the belt had curled up under the old clothes on the floor.
Cousin took his time pulling the belt through the belt straps around the pants, tightening the belt in the front part, over the button of his pants. Finally taking the jacket and coat from the top part of the toilet, Cousin put on his new jacket and coat. Looking at the close of the toilet door to where he stood, the clothes were perfect, and he felt comfortable. Only the cold of the outside would decide if he would be ok when the darkness came.
Cousin stepped over his old clothes on the bathroom floor, opening the toilet door, stepping out into the open of the bathroom. Moving around, he didn’t feel restricted, but could feel the tight of the sleeping pants and shirt, the shirt tight around his sides.
Grabbing the old pile of clothes from the floor, Cousin began to walk to the entrance doors of the bathroom, walking back into the hall from the bathroom to where the church had arranged the shelter of clothes. Walking pass the trash can, he stopped, dropping the pile of old clothes to the floor.
Grabbing his old coat first, Cousin reached into the inside lining of the coat, pulling out the ragged of his hat. Cousin put the balled hat into the inside pocket of his new coat. Reaching again into the old coat pocket, he pulled the ticket to the park way concert out. The ticket had not been torn, and still looked brand new. Cousin put the ticket into the inside pocket of the jacket underneath his coat. He thought to grab the clutter of paper and pencils and pens he had accumulated over the time of being in the city from the coat. Deciding to throw it all away, he dropped the old coat into the trash.
Picking his pants from the floor that keep his money, he pulled the small amount of money from the pants pocket, pushing the money into the top pair of pants that he had on.
Thinking to make sure he had gotten everything he needed from the clothes he was throwing away, Cousin grabbed the pile of clothes from floor, throwing them into the trash. Walking to the stacks and piles of clothes, Cousin listened for the man who said he was a preacher to enter back into the large hall.
At first, the wait seemed long, the light from the sun coming up through one of the windows that sat up in the upper part of the church. He could feel the tension and the anguish in his anticipation as he waited. He began to realize that he was in an empty church with someone he didn’t know, in spite of the situation. Breathing out, he looked around at the emptiness of where he was, and the doors that he had come through, that would take him back out.
Breathing out again, Cousin closed his eyes from the thoughts of what he was thinking. He heard what sounded like doors opening and closing, and opening and closing. Finally the doors to the hall opened, as the man walked into the hall, over to where Cousin stood.
Seeing the man again, Cousin began to feel relaxed. As he walked up to Cousin, he smiled at the selection he had made.
“Where we able to help you, Cousin?” Cousin smiled, shaking the man’s hand.
“I want to say thank you. It was something I needed, and everything was perfect. I wanted to know if I could grab a pair of clothes to take with me? I don’t know. It might get colder when the dark comes.” The man nodded his head, shaking Cousin’s hand again.
Cousin walked to the socks first, grabbing a pair of socks, making sure that they were big enough for his feet. Walking to the clothes for sleeping, Cousin grabbed a dark colored double large top and bottom. He didn’t know if the top and bottom went together, but he didn’t want to waste a lot of time with something that didn’t seem important. There were the folded piles of dress shirts, Cousin grabbing one that was in the double large pile, grabbing a pair of dark colored pants from under the stacked pile of pants that said his size.
Placing the clothes around his arm, the man walked up on Cousin, putting his hand on his shoulders.
He began to talk. “Cousin, I believe there is a dress jacket that goes with these pants in the pile of clothes. Would you like to have it?”
Another jacket, he thought, would be good, shaking his head. The man walked over to the stacks of coats, fumbling through the arrange of clothes, pulling out the dark color dress jacket. Walking back over to where Cousin stood, he handed Cousin the jacket.
“Did you need something to carry your clothes in?” Before Cousin could answer, the man walked to a section of the clothes that Cousin had not noticed, pulling from behind the clothes pile a bag that went over the shoulders. Handing the bag to Cousin, Cousin grabbed hold of the bag, putting it around his shoulders. Realizing he was still nervous, Cousin pulled the bag from around his side, opening the bag, putting the small pile of clothes into the bag.
Both men began to walk through the entirety of the church again. Now walking through the kitchen, the man stopped at an arranged of food that had been pulled out in the kitchen.
“Cousin, I realized that I did know where some food was that I could just give you. It’s not cooked and it’s not a lot, some of it is canned goods, but I believe you might like the bread and the apples. Grabbing a plastic bag from the counter of the kitchen, the man put the food in a bag, handing the bag to Cousin. Cousin remained silent, taking the paper bag into his hand.
Both men continued in their walk, entering into the smaller section of the church, walking to the church’s front entrance. From behind the church doors, from the inside of church, outside the doors was the city.
Turning to Cousin, the man began to speak. “This world is very evil, Cousin. You have to be careful. I’m not saying you have to come to this church or that you have to come to church, but you have to be careful. The church will be here.” Both men shook hands again, as the man opened the doors to the outside. Stepping onto the steps of the church, the man smiled, closing the door in front of him.
Cousin stood on the steps of the church. He was downtown in the city, the sun light having climbed over some of the smaller downtown buildings. With some of the buildings now blocking the sun where he stood, the shadows of the buildings came across the streets up into the steps.
Cousin walked from the church, from the sidewalk out into the street, crossing the street, walking up on the curve of the sidewalk. Looking back across the street, the church was huge, going around both sidewalks. Up the street, there was still the clutter of people, and cars in the distance. The street he was standing on could take him back up to the main street that went passed the back of the entrance of the alley, where he could just sit and think. He needed to sit down and think, the confuse of his thoughts pronouncing in his head.
Cousin walked up the street, turning in the direction of the park way. He needed to sit down and think. He wanted to sit down and think, the bag of clothes and food in his hands, and around his shoulders. And how he felt, the walk to the alley, and the dark of the alley would put him to sleep. He thought the park way would be quiet from the noise of the people, the morning working hours the most quiet time of the park way.
The shadow from the towering building completely covered over Cousin as he crossed the street, turning quickly, walking straight the street that he had been walking on. A crowd of people to the corner of the street that he had wanted to walk down stood for the changing of the traffic lights. The crowd crossed the street as he continued in his walk.
The walk to the park way from the church had been fast, Cousin not seeing to many people until he turned onto the street that led to the front entrance of the park way.
Cousin crossed the street that went into the center of the buildings, downtown. There were cars backed up into the street at every intersection. The traffic lights changed, the cars crossing the intersection went about, away from downtown, and into downtown.
Walking up on the sidewalk, Cousin walked along the small wall of the park way that surrounded the park way from the street. From the front entrance of the park way, the city houses across the street were quiet. Through the surround of trees scattered throughout the front of the parkway, there was the clutter of parked cars on the small street that separated the city houses from the area of the park way. Cousin thought to sit down on the bench in the front entrance, concluding, the bench being too close to the entrance, and the people that would use the park way in the morning. He continued passed the park way bench, walking toward the bathrooms. The benches to sit down in the park were scattered throughout. He just had to find one that was quiet, and not in the noise where he was.
Pushing on the bathroom doors, the doors were unlocked, walking into the bathroom with both bags of clothes and food. The park way bathroom was dirty as usual, the spill of toilet paper across the sink and floor.
Cousin walked to the toilets, using the one that was less in its filth, putting both his bags in front of the door of the toilet. Closing the door behind him, Cousin grabbed a piece of toilet paper, wiping the toilet seat. Loosening his pants, Cousin flushed the toilet, sitting down . . . .
Grabbing a handful of toilet paper, flushing the toilet, Cousin walked from the small spaced entrance. Picking up his bags, putting the carrying bag around his shoulder, he cleaned his hands with water from the sink, walking out the bathroom in between the walk way that went into the middle of the park way toward the night clubs.
There were a couple of trees that gave way to shade over somewhere to sit. Walking to the bench, Cousin put both bags on the ground, sitting down, looking into the direction of the downtown buildings. How he thought he felt, and how the downtown buildings looked over the downtown of the city, the city view was not what it was.
He closed his eyes to the darkness. He had been thankful for the clothes, and had been given food. He had been thankful to make it to the park way. A now he was thankful for how he felt. With a little bit more time, he would go back to the alley, and before he went to sleep, would eat and try to enjoy what had been a blessing for him.
He could feel the money in his pocket pull against the tight of his pants. He thought of the dollar movie theater, looking up through the trees at the rise of the sun. It was late into the morning, and the theater would probably open around 1 or 2 p.m.
He figured that the money he would spend wouldn’t be a waste, and the dark warm and quiet of the theater would give him a chance to get away from the illusion of the generosity of city. The emptiness of the park way was the noise that he heard.
Cousin figured that the movie would probably last a couple of hours, ending sometime in the afternoon. And by the time he got back to the alley, it would be right before it got dark, and he would have good food to eat.
He looked in the direction he wanted to walk, pass the direction of the night clubs toward the beginning of how the people came into the city. He breathed in, breathing out, breathing in again, closing his eyes to what he was thinking . . . .
It wasn’t the voices of the people over the blowing of car horns that had awakened Cousin, as he opened his eyes slowly. Standing to his feet, his sleep had grown into restlessness. Picking up his bags again, the carrying bag strapped around his shoulder, the group of voices that passed by, carried over the silence of the park way.
“Sometimes you have to stop and think about what you’re going to do because if you say that everything is alright then everything will be alright, but if you think things will get worse, then it’s not going to get better?” The small group of people listened in their walking, as the man in amongst the crowd continued. “But there is only one reality, so what you grab on to in your thoughts, can make something for you that is not real or the reality that is going to work.”
The woman in the front of the group walking slowed in her walk. “You know what,” she said over the whispers of the group, “I was thinking the same thing, but I needed to talk to some people about it because a lot of times we don’t know, and don’t want to learn to know.” The entire group slowed as Cousin watched the people split into smaller groups, walking on both sides of the bathroom. One of the men stood out front the bathroom, moving back and forth in a standing position. Cousin could see that he seemed impatient. Impatient was a difficult thing in the city.
The men came out of the bathroom first. “That bathroom was disgusting as hell. And this is a public place where decent people and little children come to.”
The other man that had come out the bathroom responded in conversation, “Yeah, that was pretty disgusting to go into. I know the park way can get cluttered sometimes, but to just leave it unclean.”
“And they try to blame it on the people that sleep in the park, but they need to start taking a look at the people coming from these night clubs,” pointing in the direction of Cousin.
Cousin turned his head from the stare of the people. He could see the last of the night clubs on the sidewalk, where he stood, and the beginning of the stores that were on the street with the night clubs. A couple of streets down from the night clubs, around the corner up the street, the movie theater would be in between some food stores, and a clothing store where they had high priced shoes. He could never afford what they had or that he even liked the designs of what they had, but they would stay busy whenever he was around, and the store looked brand new.
Cousin walked to the middle entrance of the park way, coming out across the street from the dance clubs. Walking up the sidewalk besides the park way wall, Cousin crossed the street where the hot dog store sold hotdogs for a dollar. The crowd of people in front of the store looked impatient as they waited for their food.
Looking up at the sun, it was going into the afternoon, Cousin picking up his pace in his walk. He wanted to make it to the movie theater before the first movie started, ignoring the conversation of the people waiting on the corner.
Cousin crossed the street, not waiting for the traffic light to change. The cars passed by, turning into downtown. Continuing in his walk, he wanted to see something that had the most action to it.
And he didn’t know what kinds of movies they were even putting out in the city. He knew they were doing guns and drugs on the movie screens, something he didn’t want to see. He wanted to see something with some action or something that had real people in it. Something that wouldn’t glamourize the filth of things that were filthy . . . . continue